Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Autocomplete Po..

This is insanely inappropriate and you should not read it...

It was 7pm. I found myself sitting in the basement on a rainy day. Kickball was cancelled, and I really didn't feel like driving to the bar. I was bored. Real bored. So I went upstairs to see if my roommates (mom, dad, etc) were home and remembered that they were all at dinner. 7pm. Bored. Nobody Home. The perfect situation (weezer).

I went back down to the basement and went online to talk to people on gmail. I was g-chating with one of my friends and we were arguing about something stupid having to do with popcorn. I can't even remember what it was. I went to google to try and get some more info. With beer in one hand I slowly typed with the other hand. P...O....Hold up. Whats that autocomplete? You think Im about to type something other than popcorn? Hmm.

I ignored the suggestion and found out that I was right about the popcorn. I rubbed it in to my friend, but somehow it wasn't very satisfying. Something was nagging at me. It was that autocomplete suggestion. I couldn't get it out of my head. I only typed in those 2 letters, but it was like google knew me. Was inside my brain. Soon I was once again typing into google. P...O... but this time, I just hit enter right then and there, taking me to the autocompletion.

Wow, what a plethora of great sites! Although I find myself on this google search page all the time, I'm still like a kid in a candy store. So many options. So many choices. Overwhelmed. My mouth was watering. Now sure, I have several links that I click on when I'm in a hurry, but it was 7pm, no kickball, and boredom. I had time to browse around and check out some new things.

I scrolled down and checked out my options. Perhaps I would dabble in something more multi-cultural than usual. Maybe I'd go for something nostalgic, memories of 7th grade. What about something with Bush or a history lesson from the Nixon 70's? No thanks google, I don't really want to chase anything, especially what you suggest. Ohh the Eiffel Tower, London Bridge, interesting landmarks, but not for me. I do like jetskiing, but Im not really sure I want to click on that sports site. This site is about a Mexican guy who fell in some mud, that's pretty strange, could be a funny story behind that, but na. Some kind of vacuums from Cleveland, old brass instruments left in the rain, something about preparing salads. Hey I remember that term from American Pie, but not really feelin it. Why is there one cup when there are two girls? It all sounds good, but its just not gonna cut it today. I need something better.

Then finally, search result #32, the one. After a disappointing day without kickball, this site was the cure. The web site I was on was pretty simple. It was about gangsters. That's what people in a gang are called right? Gangsters? Yeah, so this site has lots of good youtube style videos about this gang. Unlike most street gangs, this gang just kinda hung out in a big mansion. They chatted with each other and instead of being serious, they just fooled around. Goofballs. About half the people in the gang had guns. They would shoot the women, but no one seemed to get hurt. It was weird. Then the video took a strange turn when a lady gangster with a gun in each hand was surprised when another gun was put in her mouth by another mean gangster. Thankfully though, the gun was removed and was fired elsewhere. I guess it was all in good fun. Bang Bang. Bang Bang. rang out from my computer speakers...

Back in reality...Look upstairs to make sure nobody was home. Check. Lock the Basement Door. Check. Turn out all the lights. Check. Cue back up laptop video. Check.

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