A Morning After Timeline

9:15am: With my green kickball shirt on under my work shirt, same underwear as when i played kickball, i type to you this email. Now lets go back in time.

6:50am: Wake up, do not pass go, do not shower, do not brush, do not collect $200. I walk 10 minutes to the bus stop on the corner.

7:15am: I'm staring at a dead possum. Its gross. It is literally 6 feet from the bus stop. Cars are getting closer and closer to it. If a truck hits it, it may explode possum guts all over my face.

7:25am: The bus is 4 minutes late. I'm supposed to be at work at 8am. Estimated arrival time of bus to destination: 8am. Crap.

7:35am: The bus driver just went to the back of the bus to wake up some non-english speaking people. "Amigo, no sleep" Apparantly you can sleep on the bus, but you can't lay across the seats or on the floor.

7:45am: Wondering if I'm the only person on the bus who speaks English. 97% chance.

7:46am: Wondering if I'm doing the league a service by wearing my kickball shirt on a public bus.

7:55am: The 30 minute bus ride is over. I'm at a shopping center. My car is at the bar over a mile away. Crap

8:05am: Walking along the main highway and hoping that nobody from kickball drives by. Chances are high that someone will.

8:09am: Start to run to get to car faster

8:09am: (10 seconds later) Stop running and continue the walk to the car.

8:14am: Walking is semi-far and not fun. Especially in the morning after drinking. Hoping that nobody else sees me in the bar parking lot.

8:15am: My car was the only car in the lot, no encounters.

8:16am: To change in the parking lot at work or to not change in the parking lot at work. That is the question. I change in bar parking lot instead.

8:20am: I'm on my way to work. Realized that the toll road would be a good shortcut. Realize that I have no idea how the toll road works, what the toll fee is, if i can go on it without easy pass. Long way it is.

9:00am: Only an hour late to work. Not bad. I hope I don't get a rash, as estimated time of underwear changing is between 9 and 57 hours. Luckily I have a spare toothbrush at work. Gotta keep my arms down all day.

9:45am: Finally done writing this email. Only 7 more hours to kill.