Pickles & Underwear

WTF

Woke up on a couch. A jar of pickles on the table in front of me. And 7 crock pots on the dining room table. There were 3 pairs of whitey tighties under me. 3 Pairs. They were also strangely crisp and hard. After I freaked out and threw them on the floor, I did some thinking. Underwear comes in 3 packs. So I decided to tell myself that someone had purchased the whitey tighties, opened them up out of the package, and threw them on the couch, forgetting they were there. Yeah that's the ticket. That would explain the crispness. (i hope...)

Earlier that night...

After putting back a few (lot) ice cold Anheuser-Busch (crap I mean In-Bev) products, I had a decision to make. I could a) not drink like usual, or b) be a swervy swerverson. The choice was tough but I went with c) find some couch to crash on.

I asked my good (best?) friend Natalie if there was any room at her place, meaning was she there alone and not with someone recovering from a life threatening injury. After a promise for $5 she said it would be great and that several people were sleeping there, many of them naked.

Yada Yada Yada, and after a game of photo hunt, which Natalie apparently practices every day, it was time to go. As my kickball team left the bar, they shut the door & locked it behind us.

Upon arrival at the house, I became aware that Natalie may have had a few more beverages than I once believed. (I should have known after her telling me she wanted me as her boy toy) There was no one else staying there and there was no naked people. There was however someone who was seriously injured and recovering and I could not actually go into the house. Luckily JD was there to save the day and offer up his couch. I ignored the earlier incident where JD put his entire hand in my ass and was thankful for the couch to sleep on.

next thing I knew I was awake...see above...

When I returned to my car at 6:30am, I noticed something right away. My car was the only car in the bar parking lot. This struck me as odd because I recalled the previous night that other people who drove from Kickball were consuming mass amounts of alcohol. They must have all got rides back to the bar earlier than 6:30am from designated drivers.

Hopefully the mystery of who's tighty whities were on the couch, will be solved...