Sonya Blade

Steve woke up bright and early so he could get into work at 7am. He had it all planned out and after work, he was going to take a nap before a big night of partying hard. He had had 2 successive weeks of not completely humiliating himself in front of girls and was destined for a third. His haircut was really paying off and his confidence was soaring. Nothing could bring him down from this high. Or could it...

The party at the bar that night was "summer beach". Steve put on his classic Hawaiian shirtand grabbed his moms shades out of the glove compartment of his sweet ride. He resembled a lame father that had just finished a long day of mowing the lawn. Steve was truly a "classic" white guy. If only he smelled like sunblock.

As Steve walked into the establishment, he noticed that he was the only "sucker" that actually dressed for the occasion. Everyone was in their iceberg jeans, polo shirts, and gucci from head to toe (or whatever hip young teens are wearing these days) They just stared at the lame pale fellow with shorts on. This was a slight blow to his self-esteem, but he wasn't going to let it ruin him.

Luckily for Steve, and for anyone else fortunate enough to go, the waitresses with well proportioned personalities were wearing bikini tops, while the not so personable waitresses didn't exist. At least he wasn't completely alone in his attire.

Steve supplied beverages (free of charge) to his pals and they all were dipping notion sensored ( or sippin on da sizzurp) like the 3 6 maffia. Steve noticed a girl standing near the wall and recognised that she had once given him a ride home once upon a time. Her name was Sonya, and every guy she talked to in her entire life, connected that with a character from the video game Mortal Kombat called Sonya Blade. As he approached her, he promised himself that he wouldn't make a video game reference.

Sonya was in the middle of a conversation with another girl, but Steve didn't seem to notice or care. He stumbled in and interrupted them mid sentence and said "hey" and then a long awkward pause.

Well, he had tried not to succumb to the video game reference but he had to do it to since "hey" failed. "hey, i know you, you gave me a ride once. Your name is something from a video game. Ummm Ummm Peach, na thats not it. (no laugh) ah yeah Sonya." (i find it funny when a guy knows the answer to a question but has to pretend that he doesn't know it in order to ask the question and start a conversation. I also find it funny that that is Steve's best "pickup line")

Sonya's friend watched in horror as Steve was failing miserably and she tried to enter the conversation and help Steve out. "I remember you STe..." Quickly Steve cut her off. He had just thought of something he considered to be comic genius. Loudly and Proudly he asked Sonya if her Fatality move was Drinking beer. (if you dont know mortal kombat, then too bad)

As Sonya began to look embarrassed, her friend looked over at her and said "Finish him" It was quite embarrassing. Immediately after that, Sonya said "see ya" and blew him a kiss with a sarcastic and disgusted look on her face. (in the game, sonya's move is the "kiss of death") The girl not only knew the game, but knew it well enough to insult Steve in a very clever way. It must not have been the first time that happened to the girl, or if it was then Steve is in love.

Later on in the night, was the big limbo contest. All of Steve's friends declined to participate and Steve was forced to hold the limbo stick. Right away, Steve's first instinct was "too many dudes" So he began his great plan. When a girl would almost fall, he would raise the limbo stick ever so slightly so that she could get by. When a guy would go by, Steve would drop the stick lower to eliminate the guy. Pretty soon, there were 4 girls left.

Now was phase 2 of the great plan. Steve looked over the final contestants and noticed that one young lady had a much better "personality" than all the rest. She also coincidentally had the lowest cut shirt and as an added bonus it was a half shirt ( i dunno what it is called, belly shirt?) She was clearly in need of the prize which was, a shirt, and that is the only reason why Steve helped her out (wink wink).

Sure enough as the limbo contest came to a conclusion this lovely young lady came out the winner. Steve ventured over to where she was standing and jokingly asked her where she learned how to limbo. The girl actually had an answer and talked about how this wasn't the first limbo contest she had won. She said yada yada yada flexible yada yada unbeatable yada yada the best.

Well, Steve did not like her positive attitude and cockiness so he told her the details of his plan and explained to her that the only reason she won was because of him. He had a look of success on his face and he felt as if he had showed her. "F you" she said and walked away with her free shirt (that probably said bud bowl 97).

Once again Steve went home alone and depressed. He left some of his classic messages on peoples phones but that wasn't helping too much. So he turned to the only woman who was always there for him. Jenna.