Be A Lady

Barry & Steve story from a long time ago...

After some fierce kickball action, and a decision to get the hell away from the same bar they'd been to 100 times, they decided to do some "studying" down at the University of buffalo wings. Steve took the bus as usual and apparently his co-workers saw him waiting at the bus stop, which for some reason was a blow to his self esteem. (The bus is semi-convenient, relatively cheap, helps the ozone layer, and prevents unsafely driving home at night) For the low cost of One Sacajawea coin Steve can travel around the state of Northern Virginia and our nations capital at his leisure.

Steve called up Barry and reminded him to bring his green shirt. Barry missed the last bus, and also practices the art of driving safely so he was in a dilemma. He called his pal Bert and asked for a ride. Barry is at HIS house and nowhere near his family's house, which is where Bert was waiting. This means Barry has to drive, which means Steve had to wake up at 6:00 to give him a ride to his car. (Boring)

After all that, the main point of the night was BE a lady, a "contest" to see which dude could look the most like a girl. So Barry signs up, trying to fulfill his dream of being a woman. Another guy signs up and this left a slot open. Steve didn't want the whole thing to be a flop (wanted to dress as a woman) so he took it like a man and was involved in the contest. Two young ladies with very nice personalities were on his team and dressed him up yada yada. Steve received various "hugs" of encouragement which was nice. Clearly with his womanly afro curl thing Steve was sure to win.

Barry on the other hand, wasn't looking so hot. He was a giant woman and looked like a white rupaul. His man hands didn't help and as he pranced around the stage tweaking his nipples and saying "you go girl" over and over. Guys in the audience were disgusted and started to shout things at Barry which won't be mentioned on this here, but had something to do with his sexuality. As half the crowd shouted and the other half vomited, Barry went over to make his move. He went over to a guy and said "Hey Baby" and started grabbing him. The guy almost punched Barry in the face, but the man/woman grabbing him was way to big and would have killed him.

So now DJ Tanner yells out for the crowd to cheer for the winner. First, lets hear it for Barry. Crickets and Boos. Next lets hear it for Steve. "The crowd goes wild as if Hollyfield has just won the fight." By the crowd I mean the 2 flos on Steve's team. But they were loud. Next lets here it for some stupid dude. This guy brought some friends so he won.

It was no hurt to Steve's pride because the contest was being a girl. He is just not good at that with all his eating red meat, driving well, and not blabbing on about Justin Timberlake or J Tims as Steve calls him. After recalling the night, Steve wondered what ever happened to the girls on his team. Was he dumb enough not to talk to them afterwards. Apparently so. Way to go Steve.

The next day at work, Steve was glad to see that the whole evening had not only been photographed, but video taped as well. It will NOT be posted.