Never Take 3 Straight Fireball Shots

Everything was blurry.  I heard someone talking and I opened my eyes and tried to figure out what was going on.  There was a girl sleeping in my lap, and I had just been sleeping as well.  I looked around and realized that I was sitting on the curb in front of a bar that I most likely had just been thrown out of.  The voice rang out again and I realized that it was one of my friends.  I knew he wasn't drinking that night so without even listening to what he said I basically jumped at his feet and begged him to save us.

As we walked to the car my back started to hurt like crazy.  I shrieked in pain it was so bad and I began to vaguely remember what had happened just a few moments earlier.

A combination of different events led to me and the girl to taking 3 consecutive fireball shots in the course of 1 minute.  This was AFTER a day drinking at the bar, followed by a few hours of an open bar that night.  After an amount of time that in my memory is just dead air, I recall myself and the girl each going towards the bathroom.  She went into the ladies room and I attempted to go in the mens room.  It did not turn out well, apparently for either of us.

I took one step and started to push the door open with my arm.  However, I had not pushed hard enough so when I walked into the bathroom, the door was going to close on me.  I attempted to grab it again, but my peripheral vision was skewed and out of the 3 doors I saw I reached for the door on the right instead of the one in the center.  At the same time I misjudged my steps and I went crashing to the floor.  In order to break my fall I tried to catch myself on the wall with my back, which jammed into the corner of the wall as the door also shut ON me.

So now I'm literally face down on the bathroom floor... and oh yeah, the bouncer's seat/front door, is 3 feet away.  There is already a dude in the bathroom, and I'm quite embarrassed, so I quickly pick myself up and act like nothing happened.  However, when I walked back out of the bathroom the bouncer called me over to him.  He didn't even say anything.  I just said "yeah, I'm not drinking anymore, I'm just going to close my tab and leave".  And it worked, he didn't throw me out...yet.

Meanwhile in the ladies room possibly at the same time, the girl was also face down in the bathroom blowing chunks, and chunks wasn't a dude.  And at some point, the two people who were both laying on separate bathroom floors, met up and decided it was time to go. In other words, we were both escorted from the premises by management.  Everything goes black.

And now we are in a car and our friend is rescuing us from certain death. When he asked where we were going i somehow managed to open my phone GPS aka click on an icon.  I said, go here...and then passed out.

When I awoke I was surprised to find myself in the backseat of a car.  We were parked in the driveway of a house, which turned out to be a friend's and not my parents house, which was nice, and the driver was standing on the front steps on the phone.  A woman was also in the car front seat facing backwards talking to me.  I don't remember one word.

Luckily the guy got a hold of the homeowner I presume, and my backup plan of sleep in the backyard didn't have to take place.  I was going to use my survivorman skills to create a blanket out of grass and trees.  This thought REALLY entered my mind.

As we waited for him to arrive and unlock the door, I pulled the girl out of the backseat of the car and started smacking her to wake her up.  I was still unaware that she was puking/sick/super drunk.  She stood up, and like a knight in shining armor, when I thought she might puke, I jumped the hell out of the way almost knocking her to the ground.  She ended up puking on the drivers feet...

At some point the homeowner showed up.  I was quite happy.  I ran inside and sat on the couch.  But again, because I had a few several million drinks, I was still pretty unaware of the situation.  I was bored So I went upstairs and the girl was sleeping on a bed.  So naturally, I ran in there and jumped up in the air and landed half on top of her and half on the bed with my back yelling BONZAIIII.  I bounced up and off the bed to the floor and then everything goes blank again...

I woke up freezing cold.  My teeth were chattering and I felt like I was going to die.  I had no clue where I was.  All I saw was a crack of light coming out from under what appeared to be a door.  My memory of the night before was that I did not go to sleep in a room with a closed door, so I still didn't know where I was.  So I got up and opened the door, turned back, and started to remember.

I was in the same room, but it was too cold to remain on the floor so I headed for the main couch which, if there was no blanket, I could use the cushions as a blanket.  I get downstairs, walk over to the couch, and who is sleeping there but the homeowner of a 4 bedroom house whos wife was upstairs. I found a blanket, which I think was for dogs, and passed out once again next to the husband.

And THATS why I crashed there!  and NO I won't be randomly showing up there!!!!!!