Setting A Lineup Without Meeting Your Team

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It was the night before the biggest day of the year.  Kickball opening day.  It would be my first season as a coach/captain and I was getting pretty excited.

In the week prior I emailed my team 1-2 times a day, but since it was the night before I figured 3 emails would do.  I mean who doesn't like multiple kickball strategy emails with PDF attachments titled "Six Keys To Kickball"?  (not a joke)

On my computer screen I had 3 windows up in my graphics program, each with a kickball field diagram and icons with the names of each of the players on the team.  I would set a lineup, and then 2 minutes later tweak & tinker and shift the lineup.  This lasted at least 2 hours.

But there was one problem.  We are a new team, and I hadn't even met the players.

So how was I making my original lineup?  By insanely thinking that a person's name would somehow define their kickball skills.  I mean how can a girl named Lynsee not be the perfect person to bat 8th?  Kevin?  Solid name, he's our pitcher.

After turning these names into characters in my head (like when you read a book) I realized that this was just nuts.  I mean, what the hell was I thinking?

My next idea was better.  I would type in my team's names into Facebook, look at their profile picture, and decide what positions they would play based on that.  That was working pretty well until I realized that some of these people's pictures were from 2005.  Others had multiple people in their pics. Plus if I looked at my own Facebook photo (I look like Lady Gaga) I would have cut myself from the team.

After name sounding and Facebook stalking, I had a pretty good idea where everyone would fit in.  But there were still a few questions.

So the next thing I did was send out emails to the people I hadn't figured out yet.  It was a pretty simple email.  "Hello.  Please describe your speed.  Thanks".  Email responses contained the following terms/words (not a joke)

"Usain Bolt", "running a half-marathon", "athletic"

Nice!  Championship bound!

After another few hours of Google Searches, background checks, reading LinkedIN Resumes, and other stuff, I finally had the perfect lineup.

I went to bed early that night.  Woke up early, tinkered with the lineup again, ate a solid carb filled breakfast, and headed out of the house.  It would be a long work day, but with all my kickball thoughts, it would go by fast.  And finally, once again, I'd be on the kickball field...bunting...ug...